Too many people have bought into the idea that to achieve their goals they need more willpower. The truth is relying on willpower is the surest way to fail.
Research shows that people we perceive as “disciplined” structure their lives in a way that does not require heroic willpower or self-control. Simply put, they spend less time in tempting situations. Humans have a finite amount of willpower and relying on it is not an effective method for lasting change.
The people with the best self-control use it the least by creating an environment that works for them.
The following strategies are critical for getting through the phases of gut healing or weight loss that can be the hardest…that period of time at the beginning when you’re making all those changes, investing a lot of effort, and it feels like nothing is happening. It’s enough to make anyone give up in frustration.
This is known as the valley of disappointment, and it’s a normal part of any worthwhile endeavor. We expect progress to be linear and immediately evident, but there is usually a time when our efforts are delayed. And it’s the most critical phase to your success.
The process of behavior change
Change is a gradual evolution brought about by a series of small wins and tiny breakthroughs.
Breakthrough moments aren’t magic; they result from many previous actions that compound to reach the desired results. A breakthrough can also result from new information leading to significant change. I see this in people who discover they are gluten-sensitive, avoid gluten, and experience a breakthrough in their digestion or unexpectedly drop five pounds.
But even with new information, there is usually a period of implementation that feels difficult. In the example above, changing to a gluten-free diet requires a whole new eating way that can feel difficult and overwhelming at first.
The magic is understanding how to make the behavior change process less challenging so you can consistently experience the small wins that lead to breakthroughs.
Building better habits utilizing a 4 step process
Goals are useful because they provide direction toward what you want to achieve, but systems are what get you there.
“Results have little to do with the goals you set and nearly everything to do with the systems you follow.”
-James Clear
Habits like meal planning, cooking, meditation, and exercise feel reasonable for a day or even a week, but then they start to feel like a chore. If an action requires more physical or mental effort than you are able to expend, you won’t do it.
So what is the solution?
There are four steps to apply when working toward a goal. These steps lay the foundation for the systems that will help you achieve it.
Step 1: Write down what it is you want to accomplish.
People who write down their goals are 42% more likely to achieve them.
Commit to it by scheduling it on your calendar. Be specific about the day, time, and place you will take the desired action. Use the formula: I will ____ on [day] at [time] in [location].
Goal: I will partake in at least 20 minutes of exercise 3 times this week.
- I will swim for 20 minutes at the YMCA on Monday at 5 p.m.
- I will walk in the park for 30 minutes on Wednesday at 3 p.m.
- I will attend a 60-minute yoga class at the studio on Saturday at 9 a.m.
Step 2: Make it attractive. Temptation bundling links an action you want to take with an activity you need to take, followed by an activity you enjoy. Your brain will begin associating the desired habit with a habit you already do (cue) and a habit you enjoy (reward).
Habit stacking + temptation bundling formula:
- After I [current habit], I will [habit I need].
- After [habit I need], I will [habit I want].
Example:
- After I get my morning coffee, I will meditate.
- After I meditate, I will check social media.
Step 3: Make it easy! Start with small wins.
Too often, we convince ourselves that hitting a goal requires massive action. We dismiss small changes because they don’t have immediate and tangible results. Small wins are everything! They will naturally build with time, and the compounding of their benefits results in reaching the goal.
Step 4: Make it satisfying and enjoyable. Pleasure teaches your brain that a behavior is valuable and worth repeating, which is the KEY to solidifying habits. Always pair a habit you want to create with a reward in some way.
Examples:
- Work out with a friend rather than by yourself.
- Discover new ways of cooking that bring health and flavor together on your plate. Create a Pinterest board to save your favorite recipes to refer back to.
- Make Sunday meal prep a family affair.
- Cultivate community around healthy habits. Nothing sustains motivation better than belonging to a tribe of health-conscious people.
The strategies above will help you create a habit but won’t necessarily help you break a bad habit. This is often where people become frustrated by “their lack of willpower.”
Setting your environment up for success
The most effective way to eliminate a habit that no longer serves you is to reduce exposure to the cue that triggers it.
For example, if you are trying to eat fewer packaged snack foods and more fresh fruit, you might consider keeping those snacks out of your house and stocking your fridge with fresh in season fruit that tastes great.
Take consistent action by focusing on one to two actions at a time
The final advice I’ll leave you with is to avoid overwhelming yourself by taking on too much at once. Commit to one or two new habits and be consistent until you’ve mastered them before moving on to the next thing.
The path you take to achieve your goals will be unique to you. In many ways, it is an invitation to get to know yourself better by bringing awareness to your current habits, identifying the environmental cues that lead you to engage in a behavior, and assessing how those behaviors serve you.
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